Local Friend Group Declares Nate “Worse at Games Than Journalists” in Scathing Indictment

GAME INTERCEPTOR // INCIDENTS

Following 100 hours of losses in Tekken, a local friend group declared Nate “even worse at games than games journalists,” prompting an emergency hearing before the Iowa Gamer Circuit Court.

During proceedings, Nate was subjected to a series of gamer challenges, such as tutorials, QTEs, and various telephone games.

Following several days of deliberation, the jury returned a unanimous guilty verdict.

Later that evening, after losing another round of Tekken to this article’s author, Nate announced intent to appeal to a higher court.