In the latest NVIDIA keynote, Chess Cutlingham announced that “After extensive engineering and rigorous testing, our AI upscaling department is ready to present the latest technological innovation. Please welcome Lisa Custard, head of said department.”
“Our AI researchers delved deep into psychology, philosophy, and surveillance to uncover the most efficient methodology to increase player retention. We found what would keep players coming back, again and again. We built the technology that would help developers keep players obsessing over their games. Unveiling this revolutionary DLSS 5 technology today: your player character will look exactly like your ex who you can’t stop thinking about.”
Leakers reported that the same technology will be used to make antagonists look like their parents to liberals, and like liberals to Republicans.
